How Do You Become a Person of Resilience?

Here are a few suggestions that I can offer:

1. When you are in a hard time, realize it, acknowledge it for what it is and accept it so you can change it. Admit it if you are the cause for your adversity and get help.
(Before Isaiah Kacyvenski’s dad could go into recovery he had to realize that he needed it. Once he was there, he realized what he had done to his family and had to work on mending those relationships.)

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16

2. Forgive if someone else is the cause and seek counsel to resolve your issues with this person. Guilt and anger only hurt you and will prevent you from getting out of your situation. I think that anger is the difference between being a resentful person and a resilient person.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

35“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:22-35

3. Dream. Decide where, how, or who you want to be and set your mind to be that. Make a decision and take personal responsibility to see it through. Create smaller goals to help you accomplish your ultimate goal. As you accomplish your smaller goals, realize that you have and use them for encouragement to keep going.

24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

13 "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

4. Do not dwell on your circumstance. Look around and see that all people are struggling. Some do have it better, but probably more have it worse. Look for your blessings and rewards. Be thankful for them and cherish them. Also, use your what you have learned through your struggles to assist others.

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.” Luke 6:20-23

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12


5. Do not complain. Remember input in input out – or if you put positive in then you get positive out. If you spend your time complaining or griping about the negative you will only be discontented. Be like Isaiah Kacyvenski and decide not to let anyone out work you or find your own motivation for accomplishing your goals. Also, find positive people to fill your life with and brush off the negative ones.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" Phillippians 2:14-15

6. Pray for help and guidance. Ask people to pray for you. Believe that God will answer those requests.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phil 4:6

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:2-5

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mk 11:24

7. Persevere. It may seem like your struggle will last forever, but it is only temporary. Think of it in terms of what meaning it will have eternally.

2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

8. Find joy: sing, dance, laugh and love.

“I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13


9. Surrender your future to God. Above all, remember you can not become a person of resilience with out Jesus Christ being the Lord of your life. If left to your own merit, none of the things on this list would be truly achievable, let Him be your guide, your strength, your hope, and your reward.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

Many of the suggestions above are ideas taken from the book of James. My editor said yesterday's post was too long and asked me to post the questions from the post on another day. So, I will do that tomorrow. I hope this series is an encouragement to you and has not troubled your life too much. I think it is important to turn our struggles into something useful for us to use to minister to others. It is a painful process but it is an important one. Thanks for your comments, feel free to email me at jasper-jewels@excite.com if you prefer a more private correspondence.

On the Road to Resilience,
Kathy