Marriage on Mondays - Ephesians 5 Part 3

Past, Present and Future

Before I was married, one expectation that I had for a spouse is that they would care more about me getting into heaven than anything else. That is what I thought Ephesians 5:25-30 was talking about.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.”

In the muddle of marriage, I lost sight of that goal.” I wasn’t thinking about helping him to be glorifying to God and I know he wasn’t giving me that encouragement. We quickly were caught up in the day to day. Once we began to regain the godly expectation for each other, we made a purposed effort at being an eternal encouragement to each other. I have heard James pray for insight in guiding his family towards heaven. That alone is an encouragement to me to do the same for him. That is the respect that comes natural from his loving us in that way.

This passage illustrates the love that Christ had for us in the past by dieing for us (his bride). It shows His present love by sanctifying (or preparing us to come before God) us now. As for the future, we can look forward to Him presenting us in flawless perfection to God.

The comparison to marriage in this passage would be the husband’s original love that gives him the willingness to give his life for his bride. (That makes the request of the wife to submit pale in comparison.) This could be daily applied by putting her needs first. The present demonstrates the hallowed regard for his wife that keeps affections, motives, desires, thoughts and will as pure, nourishing and honored. If you have all of that in place, then your future together is more certain because you have kept your marriage unflawed and blameless.

This passage continues to talk about the reciprocal relationship. The couple is to love each other as themselves. (Which first indicates that they should love themselves.) The couple is interdependent on one another and equal of possessing each other. They belong to each other.
Here are some ways we can apply this:

1. For your past:
a. Remember your original commitment to each other

b. Forgive each other of what has happened in the past.

c. Put the past behind you if it is a hindrance for going forward. Commit to not use your past against each other.

d. Use past memories and emotions as a tie to cherish.

2. For your present:
a. Make your life right with God and your spouse. Change behaviors that can prevent a positive relationship and improve behaviors that promote a positive relationship. Reach out for help, we all need it from time to time.

b. Pray for your spouse daily. Specifically mention their: needs, concerns, joys, ways that they could better themselves, and ways for you to help them with that.

c. Encourage each other daily with the way God wants you to live. Use scripture, songs, and actions that place the other’s needs above yours.

d. Do not take away each others authority with your kids or disrespect each other in public. (ie: don’t interrupt, condescend, speak harshly, or discredit each other)

For you future:
a. Set enjoying growing old with your spouse as a goal. Anticipate good times.

b. Pray for your kid’s future with spouse and try to be a healthy example for them.

c. We all will meet our Creator some day. Let Him prepare your heart for that reunion.

Past, present and future diamond jewelry became popular about five years ago. It was to signify the love the couple had for each other when they started, that they share now and that they will grow to have. The three times represent a forever unity the couple made. Let this scripture be an encouragement to you to think about your past, present and future with both your God and spouse.

Kathy