Our Blog is on the Move!

Please join us at our new site at http://preachershouse.wordpress.com We have experienced several problems and decided it was easier to start over than to continue patching.

Also, this is our Spring Break and we will be going on another Route 66 trip ending at the Tulsa Workshop. We will try to post this week on our new site. Please leave more comments on resilience if you have not answered the questions post. All of the comments have helped me to make it a better series so keep them coming!

I am not very computer friendly and wordpress seems to be easier for me to figure out. We have categories on the new site that will take you to all of my Marriage on Mondays, Josh's drawings, Resilience posts, posts about songs, family happenings, .... Please check out some of our older posts. If you would like to get to know us more as a family, check out the family happenings posts.

I may post a cartoon for Marriage on Mondays tomorrow if we can figure out how. Otherwise, it will be back on the following Monday so join us then. I cant imagine a whole week without blogging! Surely we will find a computer somewhere!
Kathy

Survey Questions for Being Resilient:

I would love your answers to any or all of questions #1-6. Questions 7-11 are for your own thoughts.

1. What Bible character do you see as being resilient? Why?

2. What Bible character do you see as not being resilient? Why?

3. What scriptures help you to persevere?

4. James 1:2 says: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” How do you find joy when you are in the midst of trials?

5. “Just do it!”, “No pain, No gain”, “By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”, What motivates you?

6. Can you live with out having any regrets? Paul talked about running the race, does 2 Timothy 4:7-8 mean that he lived without regrets?
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Thoughts to Ponder:
Here are some questions for you to think about:

7. Who do you know that is resilient? What have they lived through and why would you describe them that way? What can you learn from them? What have you done to encourage them on their way?

8. “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failures, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt) What do you dare to do? Do you have a plan or what are you doing to accomplish this? How are you handling defeat?

9. How do you respond to the smelly little boy with grass stains on his knees and a tummy rumbling with hunger? What about the little girl who shows signs of abuse and a low self-esteem? Do you picture yourself as playing a role in their ability to be resilient and overcome their current life?

10. Who do you need to forgive or who do you need to ask for forgiveness; is it yourself?

11. What character traits do you have that help you to be resilient? What do you need to work on to help you to be more resilient? Take the time to pray a prayer of thanksgiving and of help in these areas.


Thanks for going down this road to resilience with me,
Kathy

How Do You Become a Person of Resilience?

Here are a few suggestions that I can offer:

1. When you are in a hard time, realize it, acknowledge it for what it is and accept it so you can change it. Admit it if you are the cause for your adversity and get help.
(Before Isaiah Kacyvenski’s dad could go into recovery he had to realize that he needed it. Once he was there, he realized what he had done to his family and had to work on mending those relationships.)

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16

2. Forgive if someone else is the cause and seek counsel to resolve your issues with this person. Guilt and anger only hurt you and will prevent you from getting out of your situation. I think that anger is the difference between being a resentful person and a resilient person.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

35“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:22-35

3. Dream. Decide where, how, or who you want to be and set your mind to be that. Make a decision and take personal responsibility to see it through. Create smaller goals to help you accomplish your ultimate goal. As you accomplish your smaller goals, realize that you have and use them for encouragement to keep going.

24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

13 "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

4. Do not dwell on your circumstance. Look around and see that all people are struggling. Some do have it better, but probably more have it worse. Look for your blessings and rewards. Be thankful for them and cherish them. Also, use your what you have learned through your struggles to assist others.

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.” Luke 6:20-23

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12


5. Do not complain. Remember input in input out – or if you put positive in then you get positive out. If you spend your time complaining or griping about the negative you will only be discontented. Be like Isaiah Kacyvenski and decide not to let anyone out work you or find your own motivation for accomplishing your goals. Also, find positive people to fill your life with and brush off the negative ones.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" Phillippians 2:14-15

6. Pray for help and guidance. Ask people to pray for you. Believe that God will answer those requests.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phil 4:6

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:2-5

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mk 11:24

7. Persevere. It may seem like your struggle will last forever, but it is only temporary. Think of it in terms of what meaning it will have eternally.

2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

8. Find joy: sing, dance, laugh and love.

“I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13


9. Surrender your future to God. Above all, remember you can not become a person of resilience with out Jesus Christ being the Lord of your life. If left to your own merit, none of the things on this list would be truly achievable, let Him be your guide, your strength, your hope, and your reward.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

Many of the suggestions above are ideas taken from the book of James. My editor said yesterday's post was too long and asked me to post the questions from the post on another day. So, I will do that tomorrow. I hope this series is an encouragement to you and has not troubled your life too much. I think it is important to turn our struggles into something useful for us to use to minister to others. It is a painful process but it is an important one. Thanks for your comments, feel free to email me at jasper-jewels@excite.com if you prefer a more private correspondence.

On the Road to Resilience,
Kathy

Isaiah Kacyvenski

I recently saw a television interview with Isaiah Kacyvenski. He grew up with five siblings in extreme poverty with an abusive alcoholic father. "We would walk around on eggshells all day. I remember playing around the house, if something would break, it didn't matter what kid it was, we all had to line up, drop [our] pants, and he would just whip us," he says. "I remember not being able to sit for a week at a time, just in so much pain."

They were so poor that they often had to sleep in tents and were homeless. After their food stamps ran out, they would go for weeks with only having popcorn and dried milk for supper. They also scavenged the dumpsters for food. He recalls the kids at school noticing his grass stained jeans because it would be several weeks between washing. Even his high school sweetheart had to loan him money.

His mother however kept the family’s spirits alive and gave them the attitude that they could conquer anything. She kept them going and nurtured the children through even the toughest times. She was his strength and encouragement to better himself. His biggest goal was to live normal in a house with 2.5 kids and dog. She gave him love when she could give him nothing else.

He decided that a college education was the only way out of his poor world. From an early age, he decided that no one at his school was going to out work him. He said, “I would take what God gave me and max it out every single day.” He studied and started training hard to be an athlete so he could get scholarships. He became an honor student and captain of his football and wrestling teams. The morning of the championship game his senior year, he was awoken with the news that his mom had been ran over and killed. He decided to play anyway and cried the whole way to the game. He stepped on the field and instantly felt a peace come over him like his mother was their cheering for him. He played the best game of his life, but when he stepped off the field, his mother was still dead and he had to deal with the grief. Motivated by his past, he poured himself into his goals. Towards the end of his senior year he received an offer to play at Harvard.

He did go on to Harvard on scholarship. He did lead his team to their first Ivy League title in decades. He did graduate with a degree in environmental science and public policy, and also completed pre-med requirements with honors. He did get drafted into the NFL. He did play as a team captain on the Seattle Seahawks team that won the 2006 Super Bowl (he now plays for the St. Louis Rams). He did marry his high school sweetheart and he did have two kids and a normal house.

What he did not do was walk through his Harvard graduation. After all of the work, he chose to stay at training camp. Instead, he asked his dad to walk for him. After years of hard work recovering from alcohol and mending the relationship with his kids, the father got to accept the diploma for his son’s perseverance. Even more, he got to hear his son say that he forgives him and is proud of the work he had done to recover. They had both worked hard to get onto the track they wanted to be on. The son was living his reward, he just wanted his dad to get one too.

Isaiah wrote in an article for http://www.incrediblepeople.com/people(2001-07-04).htm “When I was drafted by Seattle, it was the culmination of a little boy’s dream and years of hard work. There was no secret potion, no magic hat. It boiled down to hard work and me answering one question: Do I want it bad enough? My path to this point in my life had many twists and turns in which I have fallen and was picked up along the way. Now my family and I wouldn’t have to worry about where our next meal came from, or if we could make it through another cold shower in the dead of winter anymore.
I remember nights when my mom would hold me and tell me how she was going to win the lottery and scoop us up and whisk us away to paradise. Well, each of us kids did win the lottery in our own special way. But she’s already in paradise....”

I share his story because he epitomizes a difficult life: poverty, abuse, and the death of his mom - his biggest supporter. He also is an example of hard work, will, and positive influences that produced a resilient person. I think most people would have crawled under a rock and wanted to die. He used his past difficulties to motivate him to change his situation. He persevered and worked his way to being resilient. He also allowed himself to forgive his father and be an encouragement to him. He is a great example. Because I have not done his story justice, I encourage you to read more about him at the above web address and at http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/seahawks/2006-04-12-kacyvenski-feature_x.htm. He was also featured on Oprah and his interview with her can be found on Oprah.com.

I have several friends with similar tales. They have taught me a tremendous amount about how to be resilient. Do you have a great example of resilience in your life?

On the road to resilience,
Kathy

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

On The Road To Resilience

Can you answer yes to any of these questions?
Did you grow up in a difficult environment? (poverty, abuse, drugs, street crime, sickness, dysfunctional family…)
Do you live in a difficult environment currently?
Have you lost loved ones?
Have you taken care of a loved one with a life threatening or long term illness or have you had one?
Do you have children with a long term illness or drug abuse?
Did you have more positive or negative role models or influences growing up?
Do you feel your whole life is based on a lie?
Did you have a family member or have you been incarcerated?
Have you wondered where your next meal was going to come from, or where you would be able to sleep that night, or if you could pay any of your bills?

These are just a few reasons I can think of that someone could say that they have had difficulties in their lives. If you did answer yes, how have you responded to your situation? Have you been resilient?

I have been thinking about resilience quite a bit lately. Am I teaching my kids to persevere, and bounce back during hard times? Or am I teaching them either through my example or by coddling allowing them to be whiners who can not get themselves through a difficult experience. Do I even have resilience myself?

The funny thing about the most resilient people in my life is that they have lived through several things on the list and yet they do not think that they have had a hard life. They see other people as having gone through much more than themselves. Most of the people that I would describe as not very resilient have had to go through far less, but perceived their situation as horribly bad. They think everyone has it better and are not able to see past their immediate problem. So before going on, decide if your problems are real or perceived.
What is resilience? It is defined by Webster’s as “capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture b: tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”.

What are some of the qualities of resilient people? I think they have developed an innermost motivation that allows them to persevere. They have a hope that carries them through the bleak times. They find their encouragement in what truly matters to them. They are survivors, who do not let obstacles and trials be the definition to their existence. They have an inner strength that renews their spirit and helps make them feisty conquerors. There is a true sense of elasticity that helps them to bounce back on track after being delivered tough defeat.
The story of Naomi found in the book of Ruth is one of resilience. She lost her husband, and both sons to death. She had nothing but the desire of her daughter-in-law Ruth to join her when she returned home. This was a great encouragement, but I am sure she felt responsibility for her. She could have lived the rest of her life in morning but she chose to help Ruth make decisions to improve her life. The end result was seeing Ruth marry and Naomi was able to care for her grandson Obed. She also became an important link in the genealogy of David and Jesus because of her resilience.

Look at the story of Joseph. He was hated by his brothers to the extent he was sold in slavery. God was with him and he was successful in everything he did, but he was still a slave and was falsely accused and thrown in prison. He continued to serve and do right by God and rose to a position of greatness that eventually saved the brothers that hurt him. He persevered, God helped him to be resilient and he was rewarded.

Just like these Bible characters, we too will be restored. God will help us to persevere and be resilient through our trials. It is when we are most powerless that He can be the strongest in our lives. We must trust in Him and He will be our encouragement, motivation, inner strength, elasticity, and our hope. It is through God that we persevere and are able to be survivors.

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39

Think about the qualities you possess that help you to be resilient. I would like to know what you would add to the list.
Kathy

Marriage On Mondays - Final installment Eph 5 A Golden Band with a Golden Rule

Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

There once was a little kid that was called into the principal’s office for hitting someone. When the principal asked him why he did it he responded, “I was taught in Sunday School to do unto others before they do to you.” Unfortunately, I think we tend to have this same attitude in marriage. We get the directive of the Golden Rule changed around so it protects us and not so it is looking out for the other person. God intended on each of us loving each other first so that we would treat the other person the way we would want to be treated.

Genesis 2:23-24 says that Eve taken from Adam was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, but was also united with him to make one flesh. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mt.19:5-6. Our marriage bond is the strongest relationship that we can have with someone. However it is true that we often hurt those who are closest to us more than we would a stranger. If we are united as one flesh, why would we want to hurt each other?

Ephesians 5:33 sums up the chapter by restating that if the husband loves the wife than the wife should love the husband by respecting him. I think we get caught up in the details of this chapter. We are offended by being in submission to each other and what it means to love as Christ loves the church. But very simply it goes back to the basics of marriage being the same as our other relationships with even a stronger need to do what God commanded.
Kathy

“The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:14 (The above cartoon is not how to do it.)

The Farmer and the Seed

Then Jesus said to them, "Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown." Mark 4:13-20

You teach people about Jesus and some accept it and some do not.

Josh

Graceland

I have never understood what Paul Simon’s Graceland was talking about. As I was listening to it today, it hit me that it might relate to what I have been thinking about lately: what makes a person resilient? Here are a few of the lines that I always questioned how they related to Graceland.

“She comes back to tell me she’s gone
As if I didn’t know that
As if I didn’t know my own bed
As if I’d never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow…
There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I’m falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Oh, so this is what she means
She means we’re bouncing into Graceland…
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there’s no obligations now
Maybe I’ve a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland”

1. He explains the feelings of the loss from love, and the idea that everyone sees that you are going through a trial.
2. He talks about tumbling in turmoil and thinking that is what it feels like to be a human trampoline.
3. He decides that there is no obligation to defend or explain every ending.

While I do not think this totally is the short answer with what I have been thinking about with resilience, I think he brings up a good point. We should all have a goal of going to Graceland. The true one, not in Memphis, Tennessee, but where God is in Heaven. We are all going to go through trials, but we have some where to look forward to going. If we hang on and do what God wants us to do, then “I have reason to believe we all will be received in Graceland”.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9

Next week I will be posting a three part series on my thoughts this week on resilience. I would love your input!
Kathy

What Are You Equiped With?

It is so easy to fall into the trap of religion, going to church. I have heard peple people talk about coming in the middle of the week to recharge their battieries. And while this has some truth to it, this is a dangerous habit. Yes, Hebrews chapter 10 says don't forsake the assembling of the saints. It says before and after this challenge why. We are to spur one another on and encourage one another. Fellowship is good.

But, what are we spuring others to? Love and good works. Life is lived outside the church building. The fourth chapter of Ephesians speaks of God appointing some to equip the saints for works of service. We need to be equiped with something. I think Paul elaborates in part on what that equipment is in chapter five.

We come together for encouragement. We come together for worship. But, maybe the most important reason is to equip us to go out.

This is a post entered by James. Kathy found the cartoon and suggested I post it with my thoughts. It's good to be the editor.

What do you think? Did I leave something out? Please share your thougths.

Strong and Sane Women

The following are notes I took at the ladies’ retreat several years ago with OU Girl’s Basketball Coach Sherri Coal:

7 Habits of Strong and Sane Women

1. Count your ripples - Everything you do could have an effect on someone else’s life, even if you do not realize you have done something significant. Take note, if you do not see an immediate result or gratification, you still might have planted a seed.
2. Write worries in the sand - A man’s doctor prescribe a day at the beach for stress reduction. His instructions were to listen, reach back, examine motives, and write worries in the sand. As he was leaving he saw the tide washing away his worries.
3. Believe in talking horses - A man caught a stray horse and when the owner, the king, found him with it, he sentenced him to death. The man bargained with the king by asking if he could have a year to teach the horse to talk. The king saw a value in a talking horse so he agreed. Later, a fellow prisoner asked the man what makes him think he could teach a horse to talk. The man responded, “a lot can happen in a year; the king could die, or maybe this horse might talk - either way, I have been given an extra year to live.” We have to remember that David can slay Goliath and Goliath can be slain. Believe in your own potential that God has given you.
4. Don’t wrestle with pigs - Sheri told a story of when she was an assistant coach and got into a ‘discussion’ with an aggravated parent. Her head coach reminded her of a warning he had given her. He said, “If you wrestle with pigs, you will both get dirty and they‘ll like it. There will always be negative people, but don’t let them bring you down.
5. Avoid dehydration - We have been given everything we need (gifts, resources, talents…), but we don’t always use our resources to the best of our abilities. We need these things just as we need water, don’t let yourself run dry of them.
6. Categorize lumps - There is a big difference between a lump in your oatmeal, a lump in your throat and a lump in your breast. If something is an inconvenience, treat it like that instead of responding as if it is a major problem. Learn to relax even when you find a lump in your life.
7. Sharpen the saw - There was a lumberjack who continued to use the same saw and was not getting anything cut down. Someone encouraged him to stop and eat and get some rest. He complained about how many more trees he had to cut down. The other man said, “Well at least sharpen your saw.” Stop occasionally; take care of yourself so you can be sharp enough to cut down the ‘trees’ in your life.

Kathy

We have by-passed the button problem by using another computer. I will take suggestions on what I can do to solve the problem with my computer. Thanks!

I am having trouble posting, my buttons are missing

Marriage on Mondays - Ephesians 5 Part 3

Past, Present and Future

Before I was married, one expectation that I had for a spouse is that they would care more about me getting into heaven than anything else. That is what I thought Ephesians 5:25-30 was talking about.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.”

In the muddle of marriage, I lost sight of that goal.” I wasn’t thinking about helping him to be glorifying to God and I know he wasn’t giving me that encouragement. We quickly were caught up in the day to day. Once we began to regain the godly expectation for each other, we made a purposed effort at being an eternal encouragement to each other. I have heard James pray for insight in guiding his family towards heaven. That alone is an encouragement to me to do the same for him. That is the respect that comes natural from his loving us in that way.

This passage illustrates the love that Christ had for us in the past by dieing for us (his bride). It shows His present love by sanctifying (or preparing us to come before God) us now. As for the future, we can look forward to Him presenting us in flawless perfection to God.

The comparison to marriage in this passage would be the husband’s original love that gives him the willingness to give his life for his bride. (That makes the request of the wife to submit pale in comparison.) This could be daily applied by putting her needs first. The present demonstrates the hallowed regard for his wife that keeps affections, motives, desires, thoughts and will as pure, nourishing and honored. If you have all of that in place, then your future together is more certain because you have kept your marriage unflawed and blameless.

This passage continues to talk about the reciprocal relationship. The couple is to love each other as themselves. (Which first indicates that they should love themselves.) The couple is interdependent on one another and equal of possessing each other. They belong to each other.
Here are some ways we can apply this:

1. For your past:
a. Remember your original commitment to each other

b. Forgive each other of what has happened in the past.

c. Put the past behind you if it is a hindrance for going forward. Commit to not use your past against each other.

d. Use past memories and emotions as a tie to cherish.

2. For your present:
a. Make your life right with God and your spouse. Change behaviors that can prevent a positive relationship and improve behaviors that promote a positive relationship. Reach out for help, we all need it from time to time.

b. Pray for your spouse daily. Specifically mention their: needs, concerns, joys, ways that they could better themselves, and ways for you to help them with that.

c. Encourage each other daily with the way God wants you to live. Use scripture, songs, and actions that place the other’s needs above yours.

d. Do not take away each others authority with your kids or disrespect each other in public. (ie: don’t interrupt, condescend, speak harshly, or discredit each other)

For you future:
a. Set enjoying growing old with your spouse as a goal. Anticipate good times.

b. Pray for your kid’s future with spouse and try to be a healthy example for them.

c. We all will meet our Creator some day. Let Him prepare your heart for that reunion.

Past, present and future diamond jewelry became popular about five years ago. It was to signify the love the couple had for each other when they started, that they share now and that they will grow to have. The three times represent a forever unity the couple made. Let this scripture be an encouragement to you to think about your past, present and future with both your God and spouse.

Kathy

That’s Mr. Thunderbolts to You!

Jesus was helping so many people that he needed help so he named his main helpers. Jesus called two of them‘Thunderbolts’. I wonder what they did to get that name.

James and his brother John (Zebedee’s sons whom Jesus named Boanerges, which means “Thunderbolts”).
Mark 3:17 (God’s Word Translation)
Josh

Yesterday's Funny List

Yesterday, several things happened that I thought were very funny. Here is a list of them:

1. Kobi received a cone cardboard birthday hat at a school party on Wednesday and has worn it every where since. It makes a great shadow.

2. For some reason Kyli decided it was her birthday and sang the “It’s my birthday song” all day long. When James called to say goodnight, the kids sang him a song and Kobi said “I love you”, Josh said “Good night” and Kyli said, “I say it’s my birthday”.

3. The girls put their dress up clothes on and went out side to watch Josh play ball. They looked like they were sitting court.

4. Josh had his Darth Vader voice changing helmet on saying, “You want a piece of me?” and “Let’s get ready to RUUMMMBLLLLE!” It sounds most impressive with the voice changer.

5. I checked out a football book for Josh at the library called “The Miracle Halfback”. I was shocked when after he read it he said it was a real Cinderella story. I thought it was a tough guy book so he went on to explain that the small boy had two evil step brothers and a mean step dad that made him do chores and not play football because he was too little. There was a fairy God father who told him to use an absent kid’s uniform and get dressed before everyone came to the locker room after the game. He played a great game and in his haste, he left his really small football shoe in the locker room. You guessed it, the coach realized it was not the player he thought it was, but since he played so well, the coach tried the shoe on everyone until he found a match. The coach talked to the dad and the boy got to fulfill his dream of playing football. Surely there is a sermon there somewhere. I should have known something was up if I would have read the back of the book: ""I wonder who could wear such a small shoe,” the coach said. “Whoever it is, I’ve got to find him. That boy is the halfback I need for my team. With him, we could win the championship!” I may like this story better than the original.

6. Jay Leno said that atheism numbers are on the decline although they don’t believe it.

7. Jimmy Kimmel showed news footage of a man dragging Anna Nicole’s burial dress on the floor of the airport. He commented saying, “This is the news and yet multiple people lost their lives in the tornado in Alabama.” His point was well taken. My heart goes out to those families and I can only imagine how scared all the people were. There was also a lady that got pegged on the forehead with a nectarine. I am not usually up late enough to watch him and I think the lateness made it hysterical.





Did something funny happen around you yesterday? I also am going to give a devotional at Bunco on Monday with the requested theme of Irish sayings. I have the sayings, I just wonder how you would apply them spiritually?


Have a funny day,


Kathy



The picture above is of Kobi. I haven't down loaded the camera lately and it was funnier than the picture I have of Josh. We call it Darth TuTu.

Turn Your Eyes Toward Jesus

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.”

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Life’s decisions are never easy for me. I have a hard time with worrying and wondering what God’s will for me is and why He doesn’t hurry up and reveal it in an easy to understand way. I do understand when there is a ‘no’ and I am grateful for the answer even if I am disappointed.

All of this stress can be remedied very simply. Just look toward Jesus. All of my cares are eased in thoughts of His love for even people like me. If He can love the unlovely, the poor, the tax collectors, the sick, the sad, then I know I qualify too. If I can just personify the Word then I see Him there with open arms saying “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

In His arms with you,

Kathy

Ho Ho Who?

Who were these two jolly souls before their extreme make over?

What would you ask Santa to give you?

Have a Happy Day!

Kathy

Fluffy, Slippy and Too Much Info

I am rarely intimidated by anyone. I may be afraid for my safety if it is dark and I see a bunch of hoodies coming my way, but I am seldom intimidated by people’s personality. Call it living through a junior high full of queen bees that I saw right through. For some reason they all sought counsel with me even through high school and I realized early that everyone is human. The most put together people seem to be the ones that suffer from a disheveled inside.

I love to speak to any size group. Someone told me long ago that it is my chance to have a captive audience and as long as I have the floor, I have control of the situation. Because I prepare extensively, I know that I am delivering to them something that will be beneficial on some level. I also know that God is truly the one in control so I do not have to worry if I am perfect in my delivery. One of the best speakers I know gets nauseously nervous before she speaks because of the intimidation factor. I think she is too modest to use the old everyone is in their underwear trick and if she did she could not stop laughing in order to speak. Everyone shows up anxiously waiting to hear what she has to say. If I could, I would say to her “Speak on, I will listen all night and not fall out of any windows!”

I know not everyone gets to speak in front of big groups, but we all have to be around others that could be intimidating. If you feel this way, think about what triggers will help you level the playing field. Remembering we are all human helps. It is like the story of the uptight, proper, always perfect elder’s wife who fluffs with recognition (James suggests the word gusto) at a party. You may have been afraid to mess up before the incident, but after it happens you ease up and say “Hey, she really is human, I can be me”. (We do ask that you control yourself after this aha moment.)

I am also reminded of a similar elder’s wife that slipped on black ice and feel beneath her car on a small town main street. She was all dressed up to go into the funeral home where a group of friends were waiting for her. She struggled for what seemed like 10 minutes because she was unable to get a grip with her high heels and well fitted suit. Once she told her story, I was able to see how precious, funny and down to earth she was.

One time, James and I were at a dinner party of a very gracious but formal host. Because of the elegant setting, we were all paying extra attention to our manners. For reasons unknown, one of the guests bursts out with the information that her womb had been cauterized because of her first husband’s diseases. Needless to say, the tension was shattered and we quickly all started to enjoy the wonderful meal and extremely interesting conversation.

I am the most easy going, non-assuming person you will ever meet. However, I have been told by several people that my self-confidence and personal strength is intimidating. If I feel unworthy of being called intimidating, then most everyone else that I would regard that way probably does as well.

I would like to hear your stories of how someone leveled the playing field for you or how you deal with intimidation.

Kathy

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

Marriage on Mondays - Ephesians 5 Part 2

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-23

I think the word ‘submit’ has become offensive to many woman because it has been used negatively. I would like to introduce some synonyms for the word in this context. One synonym for submit is to ‘put forward’. If I am putting James forward of myself, I am thinking of his needs first. I have never been more insulted by someone as when our counselor suggested that maybe the greatest accomplishment in my life was to be a helper to James. How Neanderthal! I know I was created to be his helper, (what ever) but I had already accomplished so much in my life that had nothing to do with him. What he meant, was that in order for James to reach his full potential, he needed his support system to be in place. That meant as head cheerleader, I had to step up and be the help mate that he needed. Not the albatross I had become. How could he succeed in anything, especially ministry, without the Biblical design for marriage that God created? He had to have me be a worker with him for his foundation to be complete. Now, that we are further along, I can see that this is so right on. I will succeed with many things, but the greatest will probably be what I help him succeed with and now I am definitely ok with that. After all, two are stronger than one and I have the example of Priscilla and Aquila as workers together for the Lord. I can not begin to talk about all that he has helped me to be successful in and how he in turn has put me forward.

Another synonym for submit is to ‘offer’. The way I see it, submitting is a two way street that goes no where if both people are not offering themselves up. (21) As a wife, I am to submit to my husband as I do to the Lord. The ways I submit or offer myself to the Lord are by loving Him, trusting Him, spending time with Him, trying to get to know Him and trying to follow His ways. This would apply to how I would submit to James as well.

The last synonym I want to look at is to ‘yield’. I do not think that verse 23 says that James gets to be the boss of me and that I do not have an active role in the decision making in our marriage. It is simply my job to allow him to take the lead and encourage him when he is doing so. Trust me, with my personality this is an on going lesson. When we were first married, I had difficulty in trusting his lead. Taming my strong personality turned into surrendering all of my say to his over assertiveness. We had to gradually figure out this balance. What was once more of an act of passive aggression turned into wanting to yield to him with confidence that he was doing good for both of us. If I am yielding to him, then he is able to be the head of the household that I and God want him to be. Also keep in mind the description of the woman of noble character in Proverbs 31. She was industrious, wise and had strength and dignity. Her husband was able to have full confidence in her because she brought him good and not harm all of the days of her life. She was a go getter but she was still yielding to him.

Do you have an example of submission either to Christ or to your spouse?

What are we doing for Gomorrah?

This is a post I made for an online discussion for a graduate class I am taking. Kathy suggested I post it here and see how different the conversations are from the other site.

In his wonderful new book The Unfinished Soul (Broadman & Holman), Calvin Miller has collected "bits and pieces" from a variety of articles and books he has written over the years. The book is filled with fascinating (and often challenging) insights from the "poet laureate" of the evangelical world.In one vignette, Miller plays off the title of Robert Bork's book Slouching Toward Gomorrah, and wonders if that evil city wouldn't look right at home in today's culture. He closes with these thoughts:

"Gomorrah and its sister city at the end of this tale go up in burning sulfur in a single day. But I believe that sometimes brimstone is gradual. Which of Toynbee's twenty-eight civilizations, rotting from within, woke up and suddenly said, 'Whoa! Look at us! We're post-modern!' None. Neither did Gomorrah. With civilizations, it is always the case of the amphibian in the stewpot. The only way you can cook one is gradually. So when the brimstone fell on Gomorrah, Abraham and God were bargaining over eroded values in a culture which as the culture itself saw it no longer sinned. God's narrow view of things surprised everyone on Nightline.

"The odd thing is that the people in Gomorrah seemed not to have been aware that God was bargaining with Abraham over the death of their culture. But we who follow Christ should be ever aware that God has a requirement of those who haggle over just how many are righteous in any city. His requirement is that we, like Abraham, are responsible for doing our part in Christ's rescue operation."Imagine this: God loves Sodom and Gomorrah! The moment we forget that, it is not just Gomorrah that is dead. We, too, are dead. God holds no glee over the death of cultures. He grieves over urban evil and longs to call sinners back to their lost Edens.

"It's no easy job being God! To stand for holiness and yet love the unholy is almighty stress if not for God, for us. To live in Gomorrah and love it is our calling. But to live in Gomorrah and accept it is to accustom ourselves to gradual brimstone" (The Unfinished Soul).

There are three things I would like us to notice and discuss in this section. Calvin Miller is quoted as saying, “Sometimes brimstone is gradual”. The gradual decline our nation is evident, whether it is the observations of James Dobson and Focus on the Family or secular statistics that report the divorce rate which is around fifty percent as a nation. These numbers come from various statistics and some say as many as sixty-five percent of new marriages end in divorce, but it was concluded by the census bureau this included second and third marriages. And, I have read reports that put the number in evangelical circles as not a lot lower. Observations are made about the things that used to make people blush. The homosexuals coming out of the closet and one studio even making a mainstream movie about two cowboys in a long term relationship are clear examples. The movies my family found acceptable when I was growing up are near impossible to find now. But, the problem is not one specific issue or sin but a prevalent attitude or value system. Miller refers to being “post-modern”. It is a way of thinking that has confused people to the point where good is bad and bad is good.

Miller goes on to note, “We, like Abraham, are responsible to do our part in Christ’s rescue operation.” What is our part? It begins with our holiness. There has been it seems an effort on the other side of the fence to answer those looking for answers to questions. Post-modern thinking says find the answers that work for you. There have been those saying let’s look at finding answers through some old thought. Holiness is a concept many gave to the Pentecostals. And yet there was an effort to reintroduce holiness, discipleship and spiritual disciplines through such men as Richard Foster and Dallas Willard.

Second, our part is our reaching out. Evangelism has become a dirty word. Abraham didn’t just sit there and have nothing to do with Sodom and Gomorrah. Maybe, he tried to be untainted by their ways and would not take their money when he rescued them but he none the less aided them. How often do we get outside our walls and comfort zones and reach out to those in sin.

I left one last responsibility to the end because I see it as most important. Our payers may be the key. Abraham talked with the Lord and pleaded for Him to spare the cities. How strong is our prayer life in this area? I know some whose prayer lives have challenged me over the years. I say this not to draw attention to me but to challenge us. I pray for the people in our community. I have, under their suggestion, done drive by praying. I’m sure you have heard of these kinds of methods.

Miller makes a final declaration saying, “God loves Sodom and Gomorrah”. It is like the cliché I have heard most my life ‘Love the sinner but not the sin’. I saw a cartoon which has more represented our position against sin. A guy is standing at the gates. The caption underneath says, "You were a believer, yes. But you skipped the not being a jerk about it part". The challenge for us is to be holy and love just a fraction of the way God does. This will all preach. I’m using the cartoon illustration tomorrow.

James

Empty Tomb

Josh was sick and so he did not do his reading in Mark. But, he did draw a picture after coming out of his fever induced stupor. Thank you for your prayers. I think an intelligent comment would be pushing it but there was a big stuff animal/ pillow fight this morning so I think he is almost well. Have a great weekend!

Boy Like Me

On my walk yesterday, I started thinking about Jesus as a youngster. Knowing that he was sinless and also believing in an age of accountability, I wonder if He got in trouble as a kid. Did He get made fun of on the playground for being different? Did He get a reward when His baby teeth came out? Rich Mullins has a song that asks, “Were you a boy like me?”

He had siblings, he couldn’t have always gotten along well with all of them all of the time. Did he draw the line on the palate and say “This half is mine.”? Did it not matter to Him that the Son of Man had no place to lay His head because He had to share so much with His brothers? Did He learn His leadership skills by bossing them around. If you go by birth order personality, would you say He was the oldest or the Only Child?

Spare the rod, spoil the child - did Mary thump Him on the ear or spank Him when she gave Him the “what for” after He stayed behind at the temple? Did she tell Him to stop picking His nose in public? What kind of discipline/ punishment did He receive? Did she feel guilty for being angry with Him? Did she really know she was responsible for raising the Son of God?

Also, Joseph is not mentioned during Jesus’ ministry. At what point did Mary become a single mom? How old was Jesus when His Dad died? Why did he not live to see Jesus’ ministry?

Have you ever thought about this and do you have any answers for me?

Kathy

Yokes On You

There was a time when I would have said anything out of Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy would have but me to sleep during a sermon. Now, I enjoy reading Leviticus and Deuteronomy (still not so much Numbers although James can find something interesting in it). Although I do not always understand a lot of the Covenant, I appreciate that God has always wanted to be a part to all aspects of our lives. The directions were like His divine advice column. I was looking at Deuteronomy 22 today.

1. “If you see your brother’s ox or sheep straying, do not ignore it but be sure to take it back to him. If the brother does not live near you or if you do not know who he is, take it home with you and keep it until he comes looking for it. Then give it back to him. Do the same if you find your brother’s donkey or his cloak or anything he loses. Do not ignore it.
If you see your brother’s donkey or his ox fallen on the road, do not ignore it. Help him get it to its feet.” Deuteronomy 22:1-4

It has been brought to my attention lately that returning your grocery cart to its corral is a sign of integrity. (By the way, James did this yesterday while I spoke the sermon on it in the car. I’m not sure they caught on.) Since most of us no longer own livestock, I guess this is a good scripture reference to support their claim. The passage protects people’s property, helping them know that it is secure. It reminds us to not ignore what is happening, but to be helpful to other people. Jesus uses an example with an ox after he healed a man of dropsy at a Pharisees’s house on the Sabbath. “Then he asked them, “If one of you has a son or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull him out?” And they had nothing to say.” (Luke 14:5-6) I think they said nothing because they knew they were to not ignore the needs of another person or animal no matter what day it is.

2. “Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.” Deuteronomy 22:10
There is actually quite a bit of wisdom in this. It is referenced to in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial (Satan)? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” There are a lot of Christians who struggle because they picked a mate that doesn’t share their faith.

A different way to look at this advice is in a literal since. Two different animals have a harder time working together. The donkey is shorter and when yoked has to bear the principal part of the weight. That makes the burden harder for the donkey. So, we should not expect it to work when we try to force two incompatible things together. Nor should we expect the one who is getting the short end of the stick to willing comply. I think I could apply this to people all day long.

The word for yoke in Hebrew is used figuratively of severe bondage, affliction, subjection or servitude. However, Jesus does not put a yoke on us that makes it too difficult for us to carry. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30) Acts 15:10-11 lets me know that I am not to put burdens on other Christians that God does not intend. “Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.” (Although, we can hold them accountable for what they are to be doing.) I am also not to choose a ‘yoke of slavery’ of any sin that will keep me from living the freedom in Christ. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1) By choosing sin, we are subjecting ourselves to bondage and affliction.

So, what can we learn from an ox and a donkey? Do not ignore a chance to help someone or something. Be careful of what you bond together, two different things are not always compatible. Also, do not choose to be yoked to something that will prevent you from being free in Christ. Deuteronomy 22 has a few more interesting tidbits that you will have to check out. (For instance 22:5 and a whole section on marriage) What do you find interesting in these books?

Kathy

PS: Trey if I put you to sleep then you can add this to your most boring sermon list.

Priceless

$ 80 Storage Unit Rent
$700 Van repairs
$ 50 Servicing James’ car
$100 New microwave
$100 Deductible for new van window
$ ? Clothes dryer repair

Not having to put any of it on a credit card:
PRICELESS

I often joke (or complain) about our 900 square feet of family love, but the truth is that it blesses us tremendously. We could not be where we are financially if it were not for this house and James’ budgeting skills. James has said for a long time, “The more you have, the more you have to maintain”. The last five years has been a down sizing process of examining what we really need before we buy it.

A friend of mine says that Wal-Mart averages about $100 an hour. That would have been true for us as well and we often spend hours at a time there. This month’s expenses on top of what we would spend to maintain our lifestyle would have done us in. Being debt free is definitely a goal worth accomplishing and we are working hard towards it. I can not tell you the piece of mind I have by not racking up the points on our credit cards. It is truly PRICELESS.

Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. Ecclesiastes 5:10

24“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Matthew 6:24-25

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

Kathy

Weaned Her Yet?

I had not weaned Kyli when an unknown man asked me at the gas station if I had “weaned her yet?” Kyli was not even with me. I looked down to see if I was leaking – how did he know? When I didn’t answer, he asked his question again and this time I thought he asked me if I had a wing on my van. I didn’t have an answer for that either. The third time he slowly explained, “Have you weaned your car of gas yet?” I replied quickly that time, “Oh! No.” He smiled and I am sure he wondered if I dyed my hair.

Communication is a two way street and really depends on your point of view.
Do you have a funny communication story?

"Man has been given two ears and only one tongue
that he might listen twice as much as he speaks."
Walter Colton

Marriage on Mondays Eph. 5 Part 1

James and I joke about the time when I started to read Stormie Omartian’s book, “The Power of a Praying Wife”. I could not get through the first chapter. It started off with making sure you are doing what you are suppose to and knowing that it is God that brings about changes in people through their working not yours. Someone once said, “Marriage may be an institution, but it is not a reform school.” We must first come to realize that if we want a better marriage, it is our own heart that needs to be examined and our own attitudes that need to be adjusted. Maybe this is a good time to revisit the Serenity Prayer:
God, give us
grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed, and the
wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

The first four parts of this marriage series will be on Ephesians 5. We can see the obvious scriptures about how a marital relationship should be, but look at 5:1-2: “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” It is not about what he did or she didn’t do, it is about remembering to just love each other and make a pleasant aroma for God. Turn the ‘fake it till you make it’ into imitating God. Someone told me that Dr. Laura has a new book out which talks about just doing something for the other person out of love and not for the return you receive. I obviously haven’t read her book, but the point is true. When you argue, don’t do it by the book because the counselor told you to, but do it in the right way because of your love for God. If you are having a hard time making your goal pleasing your husband, make your goal pleasing God.

This brings me to the next verses that talk about getting things right with God in your life. “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” Ephesians 5:3-7 talks about a lot of things that are getting marriages into trouble these days; on-line pornography seems to be many people’s secret sin of choice. My sister has talked about seeing greed in marriages as being a problem. That greed might include the love of money, marrying for money, or for having a trophy wife or husband. For me, greed was more defined by wanting all the rosy marriage on the other side of the fence had. Discovering that all that glitters is not gold has helped, but the love of something unobtainable only leads to ungratefulness. Get real, if you have something that is coming between you and someone else, it likely is coming between you and God, so you need to get it out of your life.

What is not out of place? Thanksgiving. Just saying ‘thank you’. Thanks to God, thanks to your spouse, thanks to who ever. One October, I realized we were just going to bed without talking, just saying good night and rolling over. So for the whole month of November, James and I listed three things we were thankful for on that day. It started lots of conversations, but most importantly, it restarted us talking and celebrating life together. Praising God and edifying each other spiritually is also not out of place.

Before you are anyone else’s bride, you are the bride of Christ and should continue to prepare for you wedding with Him. ”Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity …. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (vs. 15-17) This is the opportunity that you are given to make things right. Today is when you get to be wise and not foolish. Draw upon these scriptures and ask God to help in your life and in you marriage.

I gave the example of our Thanksgiving list. I would like to know how you have made some changes when you have seen your relationship with God or your spouse is not going the way you want it to go.

Kathy

New Wine

“And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins.” Mark 2:22

When you are a Christian, you need to do what God wants you to do and not the bad stuff you did before.
Josh

Marriage Quotes

On Monday, I am going to post my first in a series of entries on marriage. I know a lot of people that are struggling right now, so I thought I would write a little on it in an effort to encourage. To close out this Valentine’s week and help you to look forward to the first Monday on marriage, here are a few marriage quotes to enjoy and ponder:

A bridegroom is a man who spends a lot of money on a new suit that nobody notices.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will become very happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher.
Socrates

Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years. Eve would say, “You ate the apple,” and Adam would retort, “You gave it to me.”
Martin Luther

Try praising your wife even if it does frighten her at first.
Billy Sunday

Married life is a marathon. . . . It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging. . . . Only then will you make it to the end.
James C. Dobson

Kathy

My son took this picture on our Route 66 trip.

A Win-Win Love

Yesterday, my kids got to enjoy all of the festivities of Valentine’s Day. I rarely let them have more than one piece of candy a day so they had fun getting a sugar high. What is the point of the holiday if you can’t enjoy a few pieces of chocolate kisses and candy hearts?

Josh bought Kobi a balloon and candy bouquet that arrived in her classroom. It was purchased out of his piggy bank money which is not released very often. Kobi gave Kyli a teddy bear and Kobi’s teacher put a goody bag with a balloon together for Kyli. Brother also shared his more girly cards with Kyli so she wouldn’t feel left out. Kyli gave Josh a bottle of soda. It is a true luxury for him and he shared it kindly. I share all of this to say, we are really trying to teach them to love each other and they do a very good job with it. We want them to know that you don’t have to give elaborate, expensive gifts to someone. They all felt loved by each other and knew that there were thoughts behind the gifts. Watching all of this makes me very happy.

James received candy, a Sinatra CD (think what you will, but we had a lot of fun with it), and a package of underwear. (They were more a necessity than a romantic jester.) He gave me a birdbath. Yes, a birdbath. He had been eyeing it for weeks thinking I would enjoy it. I love spring, and really like having fun in the dirt with my flowers. He thought that it would remind me that the new life was coming and give me something new to look forward to in my garden. He was right. His thoughtfulness was very romantic and was apparently the envy of the ladies at the store where he bought it.

I think God likes Valentine’s Day. It is a time when He gets to look down and see people showing their love for each other. Pagan holiday or not, it is about His favorite thing – love. How much joy He must get watching His children showing love to each other! We are truly blessed when we get to feel warm fuzzies from someone else. He knew we needed and would like this feeling. That is why He gave it to us.

He also gave it to us so we could love Him back. He made it easy for us by giving to us so much, we can’t help but want to love Him. When we pray, He gives us peace and knowledge. When we show others love, we receive pleasure. When we forgive others, we receive understanding. Even in praising Him, we receive encouragement. It is a win-win situation. God is love and God is great all the time.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

Kathy

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

How Deep the Father’s Love

“How deep the Father’s love for us! How vast beyond all measure! That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure! How great the pain of searing loss.
The Father turns His face away as wounds which mar the Chosen One bring many sons to glory.
Behold the Man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders. Ashamed I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me life; I know that it is finished.
I will not boast in anything; no gifts, no pow’r, no wisdom, But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward? I can not give an answer, but this I know with all my heart; His wounds have paid my ransom.”

It has been several years now, since I first sang this song at church. I looked that day at the man standing next to me. He was weeping at the words as they were being put on the screen. He had known God all of His life, but at that moment, He felt the Father’s love come over Him so completely, so wonderfully, so assuredly, that He could not help but just cry. He knew it was at God’s loss that his ransom had been paid. How could he not submit his life after singing this?

It is in these moments that we are in the deepest pain and distress that we feel our Father’s love the most. It is at this time we are humble enough to know we can not boast nor can we do anything without holding His wounded hand. I have been there many times; on my knees with my head down, pleading for God to show me the way. And yet, I am able to gain from His reward because of God’s grace and unending ability of simply taking care of me. I gain simply because of the Father’s love for me.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:5-8

Happy Valentines Day!

Kathy

Keys to a Loving, Lasting Relationship

These Are the Keys to a Loving, Lasting Relationship
Enjoy!
Love one another with all your hearts.
Give more than you take.
Don’t ever take your relationship for granted.
Have heart to heart talks and really communicate.
Be trusting, playful intimate and kind.
Appreciate all the little, special things.
Recognize that time spent together is a treasure.
Make the most of what each day brings.
Know that nothing is sweeter than the warmth of one hand within another.
Walk together in the direction you want to go.
Be supportive and sharing and open to changes.
Always continue to grow.
Cherish this blessing which so few truly find.
Have dreams to reach out for through the years.
Share one another’s smiles through the good times.
Be everything to one another through the tears.
What your time together lacks in quantity, make up for with quality.
Call to say “I love you” in the middle of the day.
Keep your sense of humor and hold on to your hopes.
Don’t let work or worries get in the way.
Make love a sanctuary and celebration.
Make each moment more precious and each season more glad.
Realize how lucky you are to be two-together.
And make the best memories any two people ever had.
Casey Whilson


This was poem was given to me when we got married and I have been passing it on with wedding gifts ever since. It has been a goal, a reminder and an encouragement to me throughout our 12 ½ years together. The following verse has been as well:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. … Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:29-32

This verse is not only a guideline for marriages but also for friendships as well. Let’s use this week of Valentines as a time to recapture the love we have with everyone in our lives.

Kathy

Dedicated to the Ones I Love

It’s February, and I’m feeling Valentinesy. I am in my happy spot thinking warm fuzzies. There are a lot of people that have come into my life that I just love. I have loved my best friend, Connie since I was in diapers. College friends, Lillie, Randy and Chris, you were great friends to me, and I love you dearly. Ned, I have loved your teddy bearness from the moment I met you. People like Chip in DC, Tx who I just couldn’t help but love as I got to know his personality. Kim in Phoenix, Grace in Shattuck, Crystal in Gage, God sent you to me as special gifts and I love you. If I haven’t mentioned you, but you feel loved by me, you are right – I do love you! Don’t get me wrong, James may be the love of my life, but I have been truly blessed by great characters who have tugged on my heartstrings.

John 21:20 says, “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them.” There has been some controversy about this scripture, but I love that he described the disciple as the ‘one who Jesus loved’. Are we not all the one Jesus loves? Do we not all want to be designated as the one Jesus loved? It is being that special one of love.

I like that it was perceived that there was a special relationship between this disciple and Jesus. It is that feeling that you are someone’s favorite. My friend defines herself as “God’s favorite child”. We are all God’s favorite – He loves us all.

This love that I feel for certain people in my life is special. It is a unique feeling, not defined by the usual sentiment of family or of romantic love. It is an unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the well-being of another. It is a win-win situation if both parties are giving to the relationship.

James has been talking about Ecclesiastes on Sunday nights. As part of his Valentines’ sermon, he spoke on Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. It says: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” You will be stronger if you have someone else in your life and even stronger if God is part of that relationship. This verse was in our wedding, and although it is often used in a marital relationship, it applies to any friendship.

God is love. He gave us the best gift of love through His son. Jesus taught us how to love another. He taught us how to be self-less, and concerned for one another. If you have love in your heart, you always have something to give. Who are your friends that you have exchanged love with?

Kathy

By the way, Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Fishers of Men

Josh is going to be reading through the book of Mark. This week was chapter 1 and he chose to draw about Mark 1:16-17:
As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

This passage is about Jesus asking Peter and Andrew to be a disciple so they can bring men to know Jesus. Josh

Goodbye, Vickie Lynn Hogan

I was surprisingly shocked at the death of Anna Nicole. I am not sure why, it is definitely the result someone would have with her lifestyle. Her life mimicked that of Marilyn Monroe. They were both fake blond hair beauties, born in a lower class setting with a rise to fame and no real values. Trauma in early childhood led to drama as an adult. Friends came and went with popularity. Multiple husbands and lovers confused their lives. Everyone wanted to take a piece of them but not give anything to build them up. (Joe Demaggio may be excluded from that) Drugs and alcohol were more consistent than any other influence. I wonder if Anna will be immortalized like Marilyn.

Solomon in his bleakness says, “A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he. It comes without meaning, it departs in darkness, and in darkness its name is shrouded. Though it never saw the sun or knew anything, it has more rest than does that man—even if he lives a thousand years twice over but fails to enjoy his prosperity. Do not all go to the same place?” Ecclesiastes 6:3-6 I am not saying that she should never have been born, but she did struggle to find some meaning, some peace in her life.

I would not want to do a wedding or a funeral for her. It is easy for me to say that the real wedding she needed was to Christ. But did I send up a prayer for her during the trial over her late husband? Did I pray that she find God while she was making a fool of herself during the filming of her reality show? Did I pray for her baby to have a better life once it was born? Did I pray for her after her son died? Did I pray for her after the news talked about lawsuits with Trim Spa? Did I pray for her every time I saw her on tv with slurred speech? She’s on the news all the time, which makes her someone in my bedroom. Did I really see her as a soul, or a trouble maker with a tumultuous life? Did anyone try to show her real love? I could have at least prayed for that. The answer to all of the above is: no I didn’t. I just saw a crazy life. I can pray for her baby girl to not mimic her life.

I have become so callused that the people I see on my little box are just fictitious characters. I don’t know their real names and I really don’t care what happens to them as long as they kept their influence outside of my kid’s lives. Neva said recently, “What if we would have prayed for Bin Laden?” I think Accapella had a song about this as well (Everybody needs Jesus). I think I’ll finally start praying for these people and not just think about it. I can also use her real name and say, Goodbye Vickie Lynn. I am sorry we didn't try to really get to know you and love you at all.

Kathy

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

I am told that Saturday Night Live had a segment entitled, “Deep Thoughts by __?___”. I think it was before my time and I have never watched a lot of SNL. Anyway, James likes to kid me at times by responding to me with, “Deep Thoughts by Kathy Adair.” So I thought I would share one of my deep thoughts today:

I recently opened a jar of almonds that said, “smart eating”. I really like getting compliments from my food. It is reassuring when I know that the choices I make could have the surgeon general saying, “This is hazardous to your health”.

Thanks God for helping me make good choices!

Kathy
Here is the scripture I was thinking about today:
Psalm 136
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever. …
25 and who gives food to every creature.
His love endures forever.
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His love endures forever.

Cloudless Day

“Oh, the Land of Cloudless Days.
Oh the land of an unclouded sky.
Oh they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise.
Oh they tell me of an unclouded day…..
Oh they tell me that He smiles on His children there…”

The skies were blue as they could be during my walk yesterday. God was smiling on His child and I felt it. There is nothing that can take away worry, anxiety, fear… like a walk with God in the crisp air and beautiful sky.

We have been hit with at least four winter blasts so far and we are expecting more winter mix. I have just now cleaned the four inches of ice off my back porch. I am a warm weather person, so for me to be able to walk outside and feel the sun on my face is a high powered medicine for my soul. Winter is a time of dormancy, and death. I love when God sends the new life, the renewal. Even the glimpses of the spring to come in the midst of winter are reminders of His revival.
Thank you God for restoring my soul!

Kathy

Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you? Psalm 71:19

Restore us, O God; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved. Psalm 80:3

Charley Brown and Barnabas

Hey all you Super-Bowl fans, here is a football entry for you. Unless you want to know about the 56- 0 record of our local four in a row state champ football team, this is about as gridiron as I get.

I love the Peanuts cartoon where Lucy grabs the ball out from under Charley Brown as he is about to kick it. I love how she is consistent with her pull and the determination is profound. I also love how in spite of her record, he tries to kick it anyway. He puts his pessimism aside and goes for it with an erring optimistic thought that she will actually do the right thing.

Has Chuck not heard the expression, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”? Why would he keep giving this black haired girl who sales him bad advice for a quarter another chance.

Why would we give anyone who has a bad track record another chance? Take a look at Mr. Encourager, Barnabas. Let’s start off with Acts 4:36 actually naming him as one of the people who sold land for the helping of the Church. Some would call that gullible. But what applies more, is that he was willing in Acts 9 to speak up for the Lord’s new servant Saul. Saul is a man who did a lot more than fool people. No wonder they did not trust him. Yet there was Barnabas, by his side, paving the way for trust with the Church leaders. Why would it be a surprise that later Barnabas would defend Mark? (Acts 15)

I came across a quote that says, “Some are wise, and some are otherwise.” We would assume first off that Charley Brown would be in the otherwise category. But maybe, he knows a little more than we give him credit for. Most of the time, it is wise to walk away if someone continually tricks you. But what if it happens to work out next time?

Kathy

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
James 5:19-20

Dogs!

I have had a problem the last five years that has finally taken me to a new level. The two small towns we live in do nothing to keep dogs where they belong. People here do not have fences so most of them are kept in their yards by chains or just the occasional yell. I love dogs and have been known to take in several strays. These dogs though, belong to people that are not taking care of them.

My kids are terrified of dogs. I have no idea how many encounters they have had when they were playing carefree in the back yard when a dog came up and scared them. Some of the most aggressive dogs have been the little ones so it doesn't matter what size your dog is, or how tame, my kids will be afraid of it. This has been a huge annoyance when we go visit other people and my seven year old is standing on their couch.

There are loose dogs at the school every day. Kobi was apparently snipped at during recess. The other day, someone saw me yelling at Josh to walk on into the school or I would spank him. That was an interesting look I received and I am sure he thought I was a horrible parent. I have had enough of Josh's fear and mostly of people not leaving their dogs at their house.

If you are wondering about the dog catcher, Rooster died about six months ago and the city hasn't found anyone else to do it. However, there was another tragic event where he ran over a dog in front of my house because he couldn't catch it. That didn't work so he shot him. The kids would comment about the blood and guts on the street for weeks afterward. I think they thought that was a pretty good idea.

So what has set me off? Friday, I had to shew three dogs off my porch and front yard in order to bring my kids in the house from school. Two of the dogs did not have tags, but I know who they belong to because of a previous request to their owner to not let them wonder around town. (She doesn't take much better care of her little kids.) The other dog was a brindle colored pit bull mix, I didn't want to look at his tag. But what has me feeling extremely invaded is they have helped themselves to our trash. Our garbage is only picked up here on Wednesdays with curb side service. We keep our metal can on our front porch so it won't be attractive to the dogs. Unfortunately, they have found it and have been putting it all over our porch the last couple of nights.

We are to be stewards over the animals. We are to treat them in a humain way. I do think these dogs would all be better off dead than to be neglected. They are left to roam free in 15 degree temperatures with snow and ice on the ground. If cars are not a bad enough threat, the train has killed several of them. They are thin and hungry enough to need to eat my trash. I am mad, but I do have some compassion for the animals.

I wanted a paint ball gun for Christmas. I was going to put an article in the paper that said, "If your dog has paint on it, I will apologize to you if you will keep your dog in your own yard." James nor Santa gave me a gun. The superintendent keeps a tazer gun at the school because he has been attacked several times while trying to get them off the playground.

What do you do when you have no law enforcement? (You can imagine the drug problem here.) We have talked with the owners, tried to get help from the city, now it is our turn to do something. What legal suggestions do you have?

Walking with a big stick,
Kathy