Marriage on Mondays - Ephesians 5 Part 2

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-23

I think the word ‘submit’ has become offensive to many woman because it has been used negatively. I would like to introduce some synonyms for the word in this context. One synonym for submit is to ‘put forward’. If I am putting James forward of myself, I am thinking of his needs first. I have never been more insulted by someone as when our counselor suggested that maybe the greatest accomplishment in my life was to be a helper to James. How Neanderthal! I know I was created to be his helper, (what ever) but I had already accomplished so much in my life that had nothing to do with him. What he meant, was that in order for James to reach his full potential, he needed his support system to be in place. That meant as head cheerleader, I had to step up and be the help mate that he needed. Not the albatross I had become. How could he succeed in anything, especially ministry, without the Biblical design for marriage that God created? He had to have me be a worker with him for his foundation to be complete. Now, that we are further along, I can see that this is so right on. I will succeed with many things, but the greatest will probably be what I help him succeed with and now I am definitely ok with that. After all, two are stronger than one and I have the example of Priscilla and Aquila as workers together for the Lord. I can not begin to talk about all that he has helped me to be successful in and how he in turn has put me forward.

Another synonym for submit is to ‘offer’. The way I see it, submitting is a two way street that goes no where if both people are not offering themselves up. (21) As a wife, I am to submit to my husband as I do to the Lord. The ways I submit or offer myself to the Lord are by loving Him, trusting Him, spending time with Him, trying to get to know Him and trying to follow His ways. This would apply to how I would submit to James as well.

The last synonym I want to look at is to ‘yield’. I do not think that verse 23 says that James gets to be the boss of me and that I do not have an active role in the decision making in our marriage. It is simply my job to allow him to take the lead and encourage him when he is doing so. Trust me, with my personality this is an on going lesson. When we were first married, I had difficulty in trusting his lead. Taming my strong personality turned into surrendering all of my say to his over assertiveness. We had to gradually figure out this balance. What was once more of an act of passive aggression turned into wanting to yield to him with confidence that he was doing good for both of us. If I am yielding to him, then he is able to be the head of the household that I and God want him to be. Also keep in mind the description of the woman of noble character in Proverbs 31. She was industrious, wise and had strength and dignity. Her husband was able to have full confidence in her because she brought him good and not harm all of the days of her life. She was a go getter but she was still yielding to him.

Do you have an example of submission either to Christ or to your spouse?