Marriage on Mondays Eph. 5 Part 1

James and I joke about the time when I started to read Stormie Omartian’s book, “The Power of a Praying Wife”. I could not get through the first chapter. It started off with making sure you are doing what you are suppose to and knowing that it is God that brings about changes in people through their working not yours. Someone once said, “Marriage may be an institution, but it is not a reform school.” We must first come to realize that if we want a better marriage, it is our own heart that needs to be examined and our own attitudes that need to be adjusted. Maybe this is a good time to revisit the Serenity Prayer:
God, give us
grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed, and the
wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

The first four parts of this marriage series will be on Ephesians 5. We can see the obvious scriptures about how a marital relationship should be, but look at 5:1-2: “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” It is not about what he did or she didn’t do, it is about remembering to just love each other and make a pleasant aroma for God. Turn the ‘fake it till you make it’ into imitating God. Someone told me that Dr. Laura has a new book out which talks about just doing something for the other person out of love and not for the return you receive. I obviously haven’t read her book, but the point is true. When you argue, don’t do it by the book because the counselor told you to, but do it in the right way because of your love for God. If you are having a hard time making your goal pleasing your husband, make your goal pleasing God.

This brings me to the next verses that talk about getting things right with God in your life. “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” Ephesians 5:3-7 talks about a lot of things that are getting marriages into trouble these days; on-line pornography seems to be many people’s secret sin of choice. My sister has talked about seeing greed in marriages as being a problem. That greed might include the love of money, marrying for money, or for having a trophy wife or husband. For me, greed was more defined by wanting all the rosy marriage on the other side of the fence had. Discovering that all that glitters is not gold has helped, but the love of something unobtainable only leads to ungratefulness. Get real, if you have something that is coming between you and someone else, it likely is coming between you and God, so you need to get it out of your life.

What is not out of place? Thanksgiving. Just saying ‘thank you’. Thanks to God, thanks to your spouse, thanks to who ever. One October, I realized we were just going to bed without talking, just saying good night and rolling over. So for the whole month of November, James and I listed three things we were thankful for on that day. It started lots of conversations, but most importantly, it restarted us talking and celebrating life together. Praising God and edifying each other spiritually is also not out of place.

Before you are anyone else’s bride, you are the bride of Christ and should continue to prepare for you wedding with Him. ”Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity …. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (vs. 15-17) This is the opportunity that you are given to make things right. Today is when you get to be wise and not foolish. Draw upon these scriptures and ask God to help in your life and in you marriage.

I gave the example of our Thanksgiving list. I would like to know how you have made some changes when you have seen your relationship with God or your spouse is not going the way you want it to go.

Kathy