I am rarely intimidated by anyone. I may be afraid for my safety if it is dark and I see a bunch of hoodies coming my way, but I am seldom intimidated by people’s personality. Call it living through a junior high full of queen bees that I saw right through. For some reason they all sought counsel with me even through high school and I realized early that everyone is human. The most put together people seem to be the ones that suffer from a disheveled inside.
I love to speak to any size group. Someone told me long ago that it is my chance to have a captive audience and as long as I have the floor, I have control of the situation. Because I prepare extensively, I know that I am delivering to them something that will be beneficial on some level. I also know that God is truly the one in control so I do not have to worry if I am perfect in my delivery. One of the best speakers I know gets nauseously nervous before she speaks because of the intimidation factor. I think she is too modest to use the old everyone is in their underwear trick and if she did she could not stop laughing in order to speak. Everyone shows up anxiously waiting to hear what she has to say. If I could, I would say to her “Speak on, I will listen all night and not fall out of any windows!”
I know not everyone gets to speak in front of big groups, but we all have to be around others that could be intimidating. If you feel this way, think about what triggers will help you level the playing field. Remembering we are all human helps. It is like the story of the uptight, proper, always perfect elder’s wife who fluffs with recognition (James suggests the word gusto) at a party. You may have been afraid to mess up before the incident, but after it happens you ease up and say “Hey, she really is human, I can be me”. (We do ask that you control yourself after this aha moment.)
I am also reminded of a similar elder’s wife that slipped on black ice and feel beneath her car on a small town main street. She was all dressed up to go into the funeral home where a group of friends were waiting for her. She struggled for what seemed like 10 minutes because she was unable to get a grip with her high heels and well fitted suit. Once she told her story, I was able to see how precious, funny and down to earth she was.
One time, James and I were at a dinner party of a very gracious but formal host. Because of the elegant setting, we were all paying extra attention to our manners. For reasons unknown, one of the guests bursts out with the information that her womb had been cauterized because of her first husband’s diseases. Needless to say, the tension was shattered and we quickly all started to enjoy the wonderful meal and extremely interesting conversation.
I am the most easy going, non-assuming person you will ever meet. However, I have been told by several people that my self-confidence and personal strength is intimidating. If I feel unworthy of being called intimidating, then most everyone else that I would regard that way probably does as well.
I would like to hear your stories of how someone leveled the playing field for you or how you deal with intimidation.
Kathy
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15
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5 comments:
I don't necessarily know how to "level the playing field" with people I'm intimidated by, but I know it helps to get practice with those situations. I'm actually pretty intimidated ... by pretty people, by wealthy people, by smart people, by ... you name it, I'm intimidated! Being a waitress, I have some practice in a situation where I feel "beneath" all the people I'm serving, and yet I enjoy "pretending" to be confident with the situation so it won't affect the way I'm acting towards them.
(I was worried that you aren't really from OK, as I said you were in my post, so I stopped by to make sure. I guess you just meant in your comment that you're not an Okie at heart. :) Glad I didn't get that wrong, but also glad I came over to check since I found a new post!)
I am a Texan at heart. I am just trying to bloom where I am planted.
From your blog, I would say you are the pretty, smart and talented people. I can see being in a servaning occupation would would make one feel like that. I will say that the wait staff that is confident,personable and is enjoying it really enhances my experience. I think I've read enough from you that you are ministering while you work. Jesus showed the most visual lesson on serving when He washed His friend's feet. I think He appreciates what you do and that should give you an extra confidence boost.
Kathy
I almost always feel intimidated, when I speak, when I write, when I meet new people, when I teach, even when I blog. But God is good and He helps calm my nerves and ease my mind.
Peace
Neva
PS ---you know I CANT use any examples. :)
Uh-oh, Neva likes to picture everyone in their underwear!!
Lisa,
Not me---Kathy knows lots of people. She has heard some really great speakers. I am not sure who she is talking about --but I am the kind of speaker who has to pretend not to see anyone. I have to convince myself if they already like me, this hour won't change it. Like, her example, I do feel very ill before I speak, but I usually do okay once God's Word starts coming out and I get the thrill of sharing His Word. (Sometimes I do have bad dreams that when I get up to speak, I am in my underwear---bad, bad bad dream).
Love to you and Kathy both
n
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